If you’re a novelist looking to bring your story to life, it’s important for you to learn about playing with narrative distance. Playing with narrative distance may sound like an abstract term, but actually you can just think of it as a camera lens that zooms in and out, allowing you to reveal your imagined world from both a closeup and a pulled back perspective.

What is narrative distance?

Narrative distance is the space between your readers and your characters. In some moments, you’ll want your readers to be right next to (or even in the shoes of) your characters, letting them see what they are seeing, hear what they are hearing, smell what they are smelling, and even give them access to what your characters are thinking. At other times, you might pull back and look at the bigger picture, giving your reader a wider sense of the world around them, or a sense of distance from a situation.

The best part? By learning how to play with this narrative distance, you can enhance your storytelling and control the emotional tone of your scenes.

Zooming In: Getting Close to Your Character

When you zoom in on your character, you’re getting so close that you can feel their emotions, sense the world around them, and even hear the thoughts racing through their mind. This deep connection allows your reader to become immersed in the character’s inner world, creating intimacy and empathy, and ensuring your readers are really invested, and really engaged.

So, how do you pull off this technique? Here are a couple of ways:

1. Focus on Sensory Details:

Describe what the character is experiencing through their senses. What are they touching, seeing, smelling, or hearing? When you zoom in, these details will feel more immediate and personal. Take care not to use filter words like heard, saw, observed, realised, felt. The example I always give is this:
He heard a dog bark – this is telling your readers that your character can hear a dog bark.
A dog barked – this is showing your readers that a dog is barking, and lets them hear it for themselves.

2. Use Deep Point of View/Free Indirect Speech

Instead of narrating events from a distance, let the character’s voice dominate. Free indirect speech (FIS) lets your character’s thoughts flow directly onto the page, blending the point of view character’s thoughts with the narrative.

For example:
He wondered whether it was going to rain or snow, and couldn’t work out what was going on with the weather. This is telling us that the character is wondering what is going on. This is distant – it’s being described to us.
“What is going on with the weather?” he wondered. “Is it going to rain? Or snow?” This is closer, showing us what he is thinking, using direct thought.
What on earth was going on with the weather? Was it going to rain? Or snow? This is really up close – you are inside the character’s head, experiencing his inner dialogue.

This makes readers feel like they’re experiencing everything right alongside your character, in real time.

Zooming Out: Creating a Broader View

When you zoom out, you shift your focus away from your character’s personal experience and move it to the world around them. This technique is great for providing context or setting the scene, or moving things on quickly using a summary of events. You can reveal the landscape, describe a bustling city street, or show how your character fits into a bigger picture. By pulling back, you allow your readers to see how everything connects.

Here are some methods to zoom out effectively:

1. Shift to a Larger Scope

Instead of focusing on the character’s immediate emotions, show the setting, the environment, or the larger conflict at play. This gives the reader a bird’s-eye view of what’s happening.

2. Multiple Points of View

If you’re writing in third person, switching to a different character’s perspective can offer a more detached view of the situation. You might show how your main character’s actions fit into the greater plot, or how others are reacting to the same event.

3. Use Abstract Descriptions

Rather than describing things from a personal perspective, you can make use of broader, more abstract descriptions. For instance, instead of saying “She was nervous,” you might describe the stormy weather or the sense of unease in the room.

Example showing the difference, using a Romance/Fantasy extract

Firstly, zoomed out:
The evening air was crisp, with a hint of magic that hung in the wind. Tall, dark trees stretched out over the path, their branches almost seeming to whisper in the fading light. The world around her felt both vast and unknown, as if time itself had stopped for just a moment.

And then zoomed in:
The cold air bit at her skin, but it was the magic that sent a shiver down her spine. Her heart raced, maybe from the chill or maybe from the strangeness that lingered in the air – something ancient, something powerful. She reached out, fingertips brushing the rough bark of the nearest tree, and for a brief moment, the whispering winds seemed to speak directly to her.

Why Does Narrative Distance Matter?

Why you should bother with all this shifting of perspective? Using both close and wide narrative distances allows you to control how your reader experiences your story. Close-ups build tension, emotional depth, and connection, while wide shots offer a sense of scale, context, and anticipation.

This is especially important when your novel involves complex emotional journeys (romance; romantasy) or grand, sweeping adventures (fantasy; romantasy; sci-fi). By manipulating narrative distance, you can heighten the emotional stakes in romantic scenes or make the fantasy world feel larger and more immersive.

How to Use Narrative Distance in Your Writing

If you want to play with narrative distance in your fiction, try writing the same scene using both techniques. Start with a zoomed-in, deeply personal moment, and rewrite the scene, giving your readers a bigger perspective by pulling the camera back. This will help you learn how to switch between the two as you write, enhancing the experience for your readers.

Whether you’re writing the first kiss of your romantic fantasy, or the moment your character realises their destiny, changing your narrative distance will help you craft a more dynamic and engaging story.

Final Tip for Playing With Narrative Distance

Don’t be afraid to experiment with these techniques within one scene. You don’t have to stick to one narrative distance throughout a scene or a chapter. The beauty of storytelling is that you can zoom in for those intimate moments and then pull back to reveal the bigger picture. Your readers will thank you for it! If you’d like support with your manuscript please do get in touch.

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Understanding the Difference Between Showing and Telling

To create a compelling narrative, it’s important to understand the distinction between showing and telling. “Showing” calls on observable details – the senses, actions, and dialogue. It allows readers to experience the story alongside the characters, firsthand. It lets readers see what the characters are seeing, feel what they are feeling, smell what they are smelling. It invites readers to visualize scenes, feel emotions, and draw their own conclusions.

On the other hand, “telling” is conveying information directly to readers without allowing them to engage their senses or draw their own inferences.

The Power of Showing in Creating Vivid Imagery

Showing plays a crucial role in immersing readers in the world you’ve created. By using vivid descriptions, sensory details, and evocative language, you can paint a vivid picture in readers’ minds.

For example, instead of telling readers that the room was tidy, you can show them by describing how books are alphabetised on the shelves, how shoes are lined up on the shoe rack, how the kitchen surfaces are clean and clear.

This allows readers to visualize the scene and connect with the characters in their environment. When a reader has to work things out for themselves – by observing the behaviour of a character, rather than being told about it – they will be invested in your story. This is how to write a page-turner!

Using Dialogue and Action to Show Emotions

Dialogue and character actions are effective tools for showing emotions and inner thoughts. Rather than explicitly stating a character’s feelings, let their words and actions reveal their emotional state.

For some emotions, it’s easy to imagine how a character will look – for instance, instead of telling readers that a character is sad, have a tear roll down their cheek – but others are a little more tricky. Instead of saying a character is nonchalant, maybe they could gaze around a room as they are speaking, or be looking out of a window.

This allows readers to experience the emotion alongside the character, narrowing the narrative distance and fostering a deeper connection.

For ideas on how to show emotion, you might like to have a look at The Emotion Thesaurus by Becca Puglisi and Angela Ackerman – it gives you suggestions on how a character might act if they feel a particular emotion, including internal feelings and external observable characteristics.

Telling is Excellent for Summarising

While showing is a powerful tool for bringing your reader in so they are really close to your characters, there are instances where telling can be more useful. Telling helps provide context, summarize information, and maintain a good pace in your narrative. It allows you to condense time or convey necessary background information efficiently. You don’t want to tell too much though as an info dump will disconnect your readers.

Telling should be used at times when you want to increase the narrative distance – for overviews, flashbacks and backstories.

However, be cautious not to rely too heavily on telling, as it can distance readers from the story. Reserve telling for moments where it serves a purpose and complements the showing elements. And always watch out for info dumps!

Balancing Showing vs Telling in Your Writing

Balancing showing vs telling is not easy.

As a general guideline, use showing for crucial moments that drive the plot, create tension, or evoke emotions. Use telling for transitions, summaries, or when the information doesn’t require the full immersive experience. Strive for a mix of both techniques to create a dynamic narrative that engages readers while not bogging them down.

In Conclusion

If you aren’t sure about balancing showing vs telling in writing, why not request a free sample edit? I can then have a look at your extract and provide feedback.

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