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	<title>repetition Archives | MandaWaller</title>
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		<title>Self-Editing Tips for Fiction Authors</title>
		<link>https://www.mandawaller.co.uk/self-editing-tips-for-fiction-authors/?utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=self-editing-tips-for-fiction-authors</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Manda]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Tue, 27 Feb 2024 09:23:00 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[ADVERBS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[DIALOGUE]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[THE EDITING PROCESS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[FICTION WRITING TIPS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[OVER-DESCRIBING]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[REDUCING EDITING COSTS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[SELF-EDITING]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[THEN AFTER AND WHILE]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[monologues]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[as you know bob]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[maid-and-butler dialogue]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[adverbs]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[timeline nudges]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[self-editing]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dialogue tags]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[redundancy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[THAT]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[repetition]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[strong verbs]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.mandawaller.co.uk/?p=2136</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>If you&#8217;ve just finished the first draft of your novel, now it&#8217;s time to look at my list of self-editing tips for fiction authors. The better your manuscript is before you send it to a fiction editor for some professional attention, the better your final, published book will be. Authors and editors can work together to ensure better readability &#8211; this in turn will make your book more marketable and will result in better reviews. I&#8217;m a freelance editorial professional, and my job is to look at manuscripts and check for issues with punctuation, grammar, typos, word choice, pace and inconsistencies. But there are many things that you &#8211; the novelist &#8211; can do to elevate your manuscript before you look for a book professional to copyedit, line edit and proofread your book. Below is part one of my list of self-editing tips for indie fiction authors &#8211; see here for part 2! 1 – Let It Rest When you’ve finished writing your first draft, and you’ve just typed “THE END”, should you start self-editing immediately? You may be relieved to have reached the end of your manuscript, and you may need a break (everyone is entitled to a holiday, even full-time writers!). However, you might be tempted to jump straight back to the start and begin the first round of self-editing. Either way, it’s best not to start editing immediately. Put your manuscript in a digital drawer and leave it to percolate, ferment, breathe. How long you do this for is up to you, but I’d recommend a minimum of two weeks. During this time, you don’t have to stop writing, but you should try really hard not to tinker with your manuscript. When you come back to your manuscript, you will find that you have a different perspective, and you are far more likely to pick up on far more things than if you&#8217;d barrelled straight into the editing process immediately. Giving yourself a break is good for you, and good for your manuscript! 2 – Dialogue Tags Is it possible to nod words? Or smile them? Or shrug them? I’d argue that none of these work as dialogue tags (with certain exceptions – some fantasy sub-genres being one of them). It might just about be possible to cough, sigh, hiccup or laugh a word. But definitely not a sentence. And you really can’t sneeze words. Except maybe “aachoo”. The safest dialogue tags are said, asked, replied. Whispered, shouted, mumbled, yelled are also perfectly fine. I’ll leave you with these fine examples (which I&#8217;d recommend you avoid!): posited, opined, husked, ejaculated. Note:&#8211; If your dialogue ends with a comma before the closing quotes, what comes after the closing quotes is a dialogue tag.&#8211; if your dialogue ends with a full stop or period before the closing quotes, what comes after the closing quotes is an action beat. 3 – That There are a lot of people who don’t like the word “that” when it&#8217;s used as a conjunction. I&#8217;ve heard stories of authors being told to remove them all from their manuscripts. Sometimes, the word “that” is necessary for clarity, pace or tone. But sometimes it’s just not needed. Have a look at this:I knew that he was going to be late -vs- I knew he was going to be late.It was obvious that she was younger than him -vs- It was obvious she was younger than him. In both these examples, the word “that” can be removed without affecting the meaning or clarity. You could possibly argue that the tone is slightly different, and of course that’s the author’s call. However, if a word can be removed without impacting on clarity or meaning, it’s an indication that its use should be reviewed. Removing the “that”s in the sentences above removes clutter, and this is always something to be promoted. There ARE some sentences where the word &#8220;that&#8221; is needed as a conjunction: I&#8217;ve heard that you snore -vs- I&#8217;ve heard you snore The second example (I&#8217;ve heard you snore) could mean two different things (I&#8217;ve heard THAT you snore, or I&#8217;ve heard you snoring), so in this case, the word that is needed for clarity. 4 – Strong Verbs You’ve probably heard how editors don’t like adverbs. This is because the presence of adverbs often indicates the presence of weaker verbs. (An adverb is just a word that modifies a verb – so in the sentence &#8220;I ran quickly&#8221;, the word &#8220;quickly&#8221; is an adverb, modifying the verb &#8220;to run&#8221;.) Have a look at the verbs you are using in your manuscript. Do you find yourself leaning on adverbs to support weaker verbs? Are your characters running quickly (when they could be sprinting), walking cautiously (when they could be tiptoeing), speaking quietly (when they could be whispering), speaking quickly (when they could be blurting)? Often, adverbs are an indicator that your narrative (or dialogue) could be strengthened by reviewing your verbs. 5 – Lengthy Monologues Have a look at your dialogue. Do you have large paragraphs where one person is constantly speaking? This doesn’t tend to happen in real life. Even when someone is giving a speech, they are still looking around the room, looking down at their notes, taking a sip of water, pointing at something on the screen. In everyday conversation, when someone is talking it’s very rare for them to go on for too long without being interrupted, or without the other people in the room saying or doing something. Not only is it unrealistic to have lengthy uninterrupted monologues in your novel, it also results in a lack of white space on the pace. Solid blocks of text make your manuscript harder to read, and too many of them are likely to put your readers off (even if only subconsciously). So this tip is to review your lengthy monologues and see if they can be broken up with action beats, or other characters joining in. 6 &#8211; Removing Redundancy Can you shrug any part of your body except your shoulders?(he shrugged his shoulders becomes simply he shrugged) Can you kick any part of your body except your feet?(she kicked the ball with her foot becomes simply she kicked the ball) Can you clasp with anything other than your hands?(he clasped the paper in his hand becomes simply he clasped the paper) It&#8217;s important to remove unnecessary clutter, and to make every word count. 7 &#8211; Removing Repetition Repetition is not just about words that have been duplicated (although obviously these need removing!) &#8211; it can happen in multiple, unexpected ways. A really common (and often overlooked) one is where the narrative repeats what the dialogue has just told us: &#8220;Hello.&#8221; Rebecca greeted me.&#8220;I would like to explain.&#8221; David felt the need to clarify. In both these examples, the narrative is unnecessarily repeating what we have just been told in the dialogue. Another type of repetition relates to adverbs: He yelled loudly. (The adverb &#8220;loudly&#8221; is repeating what we&#8217;ve been told by the verb &#8220;yell&#8221;.)He briefly summarised. (The word &#8220;summarise&#8221; means to make something briefer, so the adverb &#8220;briefly&#8221; is repeating what we have been told by the verb &#8220;summarise&#8221;.) Removing repetition removes clutter and brings more definition to your writing. 8 &#8211; Unnecessary Timeline Nudges Do you need to include timeline nudges in your novel?(Timeline nudges are words like then, after, while, before, with that.) Often, authors think that readers need these nudges, so they can keep track of what&#8217;s going on. However, the sequence in which you write events indicates the sequence in which they happen. You don&#8217;t need to say &#8220;X happened then Y happened&#8221;.Instead, you can say &#8220;X happened, and Y happened&#8221; and the reader will understand that Y happened after X. Using timeline nudges too frequently can be distracting &#8211; and your readers can end up focusing more on when things happen, and less on what you are trying to describe on the page. Removing these nudges removes clutter and brings more definition to your writing. 9 &#8211; As You Know, Bob So what on earth is As You Know, Bob? Also called Maid and Butler Dialogue, it&#8217;s when the characters on the page share information that everyone present already knows &#8211; purely so the reader can know it too. Have a look at this: &#8220;I heard your wife, Rebecca, is learning the piano?&#8221; The person being addressed clearly already knows that their wife is called Rebecca &#8211; the only reason the writer has presented it this way is so that the readers can know all about Rebecca too. Instead, it would be better to write it as: &#8220;I heard Rebecca is learning the piano?&#8221;&#8220;Yes, my wife is a very talented woman.&#8221; This then tells us all the information, in a more natural way. With longer, more complicated pieces of information, it might be a good idea to introduce a new character who doesn&#8217;t have all the facts, so the other characters can discuss the details with them, and thereby keep the reader fully informed. 10 &#8211; Vocatives Are you overusing vocatives in your novel? A vocative is a word that&#8217;s used to address someone &#8211; normally a name. In real life, we don&#8217;t tend to use people&#8217;s names very often in conversation. Maybe at the start, when we first meet them, we might say &#8220;Hello, Name&#8221;, but then during the natural course of the conversation, we would be unlikely to repeat their name many times. If there are only two people present, we might not use their name at all. And if there are multiple people present, we might use a name to make sure everyone knows who we are talking to, but we might also look at someone, nudge them or tap them on the shoulder. Often, authors use names in dialogue far more than is natural. Have a look at your dialogue &#8211; have you used names too frequently? If you are worried that the reader isn&#8217;t going to follow who is speaking/being addressed, this is what dialogue tags and action beats are for. Dialogue is really hard to write, and this is just one way to make it sound more natural. In Conclusion This is part one of my self-editing tips for indie fiction authors &#8211; please see here for part 2. And if any of the above tips are unclear, please do email me &#8211; I&#8217;d love to hear from you.</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://www.mandawaller.co.uk/self-editing-tips-for-fiction-authors/">Self-Editing Tips for Fiction Authors</a> appeared first on <a href="https://www.mandawaller.co.uk">MandaWaller</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[
<p>If you&#8217;ve just finished the first draft of your novel, now it&#8217;s time to look at my list of self-editing tips for fiction authors. </p>



<p>The better your manuscript is before you send it to a fiction editor for some professional attention, the better your final, published book will be. </p>



<p>Authors and editors can work together to ensure better readability &#8211; this in turn will make your book more marketable and will result in better reviews.</p>



<p>I&#8217;m a freelance editorial professional, and my job is to look at manuscripts and check for issues with punctuation, grammar, typos, word choice, pace and inconsistencies. But there are many things that you &#8211; the novelist &#8211; can do to elevate your manuscript before you look for a book professional to copyedit, line edit and proofread your book. </p>



<p>Below is part one of my list of self-editing tips for indie fiction authors &#8211; see <a href="https://www.mandawaller.co.uk/more-self-editing-tips-for-fiction-authors/" class="ek-link">here</a> for part 2!</p>



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<h2 class="wp-block-heading">1 – Let It Rest</h2>



<p>When you’ve finished writing your first draft, and you’ve just typed “THE END”, should you start self-editing immediately?<br><br>You may be relieved to have reached the end of your manuscript, and you may need a break (everyone is entitled to a holiday, even full-time writers!).<br><br>However, you might be tempted to jump straight back to the start and begin the first round of self-editing.<br><br>Either way, it’s best not to start editing immediately. Put your manuscript in a digital drawer and leave it to percolate, ferment, breathe.<br><br>How long you do this for is up to you, but I’d recommend a minimum of two weeks.<br><br>During this time, you don’t have to stop writing, but you should try really hard not to tinker with your manuscript.<br><br>When you come back to your manuscript, you will find that you have a different perspective, and you are far more likely to pick up on far more things than if you&#8217;d barrelled straight into the editing process immediately.<br><br>Giving yourself a break is good for you, and good for your manuscript!<br><br></p>


<div class="wp-block-image">
<figure class="aligncenter"><img decoding="async" width="72" height="65" src="https://i0.wp.com/www.mandawaller.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/Flower-single-cropped.png?resize=56%2C51&amp;ssl=1" alt="" class="wp-image-1693"/></figure>
</div>


<h2 class="wp-block-heading">2 – Dialogue Tags</h2>



<p>Is it possible to nod words? Or smile them? Or shrug them?<br><br>I’d argue that none of these work as dialogue tags (with certain exceptions – some fantasy sub-genres being one of them).<br><br>It might just about be possible to cough, sigh, hiccup or laugh a word. But definitely not a sentence.<br><br>And you really can’t sneeze words. Except maybe “aachoo”.<br><br>The safest dialogue tags are said, asked, replied. Whispered, shouted, mumbled, yelled are also perfectly fine.<br><br>I’ll leave you with these fine examples (which I&#8217;d recommend you avoid!): posited, opined, husked, ejaculated.<br><br>Note:<br>&#8211; If your dialogue ends with a comma before the closing quotes, what comes after the closing quotes is a dialogue tag.<br>&#8211; if your dialogue ends with a full stop or period before the closing quotes, what comes after the closing quotes is an action beat.<br></p>


<div class="wp-block-image">
<figure class="aligncenter"><img decoding="async" width="72" height="65" src="https://i0.wp.com/www.mandawaller.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/Flower-single-cropped.png?resize=56%2C51&amp;ssl=1" alt="" class="wp-image-1693"/></figure>
</div>


<h2 class="wp-block-heading">3 – That</h2>



<p>There are a lot of people who don’t like the word “that” when it&#8217;s used as a conjunction. I&#8217;ve heard stories of authors being told to remove them all from their manuscripts.<br><br>Sometimes, the word “that” is necessary for clarity, pace or tone. But sometimes it’s just not needed.<br><br>Have a look at this:<br>I knew that he was going to be late -vs- I knew he was going to be late.<br>It was obvious that she was younger than him -vs- It was obvious she was younger than him.<br><br>In both these examples, the word “that” can be removed without affecting the meaning or clarity. You could possibly argue that the tone is slightly different, and of course that’s the author’s call.<br><br>However, if a word can be removed without impacting on clarity or meaning, it’s an indication that its use should be reviewed.<br><br>Removing the “that”s in the sentences above removes clutter, and this is always something to be promoted.<br><br>There ARE some sentences where the word &#8220;that&#8221; is needed as a conjunction:<br><br>I&#8217;ve heard that you snore -vs- I&#8217;ve heard you snore<br><br>The second example (I&#8217;ve heard you snore) could mean two different things (I&#8217;ve heard THAT you snore, or I&#8217;ve heard you snoring), so in this case, the word that is needed for clarity.</p>


<div class="wp-block-image">
<figure class="aligncenter"><img decoding="async" width="72" height="65" src="https://i0.wp.com/www.mandawaller.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/Flower-single-cropped.png?resize=56%2C51&amp;ssl=1" alt="" class="wp-image-1693"/></figure>
</div>


<h2 class="wp-block-heading"><br>4 – Strong Verbs</h2>



<p>You’ve probably heard how editors don’t like adverbs.<br><br>This is because the presence of adverbs often indicates the presence of weaker verbs.<br><br>(An adverb is just a word that modifies a verb – so in the sentence &#8220;I ran quickly&#8221;, the word &#8220;quickly&#8221; is an adverb, modifying the verb &#8220;to run&#8221;.)<br><br>Have a look at the verbs you are using in your manuscript.<br><br>Do you find yourself leaning on adverbs to support weaker verbs?<br><br>Are your characters running quickly (when they could be sprinting), walking cautiously (when they could be tiptoeing), speaking quietly (when they could be whispering), speaking quickly (when they could be blurting)?<br><br>Often, adverbs are an indicator that your narrative (or dialogue) could be strengthened by reviewing your verbs.<br><br></p>


<div class="wp-block-image">
<figure class="aligncenter"><img decoding="async" width="72" height="65" src="https://i0.wp.com/www.mandawaller.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/Flower-single-cropped.png?resize=56%2C51&amp;ssl=1" alt="" class="wp-image-1693"/></figure>
</div>


<h2 class="wp-block-heading">5 – Lengthy Monologues</h2>



<p>Have a look at your dialogue.</p>



<p>Do you have large paragraphs where one person is constantly speaking?<br></p>



<p>This doesn’t tend to happen in real life.<br><br>Even when someone is giving a speech, they are still looking around the room, looking down at their notes, taking a sip of water, pointing at something on the screen.<br><br>In everyday conversation, when someone is talking it’s very rare for them to go on for too long without being interrupted, or without the other people in the room saying or doing something.<br><br>Not only is it unrealistic to have lengthy uninterrupted monologues in your novel, it also results in a lack of white space on the pace. Solid blocks of text make your manuscript harder to read, and too many of them are likely to put your readers off (even if only subconsciously).<br><br>So this tip is to review your lengthy monologues and see if they can be broken up with action beats, or other characters joining in.<br><br></p>


<div class="wp-block-image">
<figure class="aligncenter"><img decoding="async" width="72" height="65" src="https://i0.wp.com/www.mandawaller.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/Flower-single-cropped.png?resize=56%2C51&amp;ssl=1" alt="" class="wp-image-1693"/></figure>
</div>


<h2 class="wp-block-heading">6 &#8211; Removing Redundancy</h2>



<p>Can you shrug any part of your body except your shoulders?<br>(he shrugged his shoulders becomes simply he shrugged)<br><br>Can you kick any part of your body except your feet?<br>(she kicked the ball with her foot becomes simply she kicked the ball)<br><br>Can you clasp with anything other than your hands?<br>(he clasped the paper in his hand becomes simply he clasped the paper)<br><br>It&#8217;s important to remove unnecessary clutter, and to make every word count.<br><br></p>


<div class="wp-block-image">
<figure class="aligncenter"><img decoding="async" width="72" height="65" src="https://i0.wp.com/www.mandawaller.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/Flower-single-cropped.png?resize=56%2C51&amp;ssl=1" alt="" class="wp-image-1693"/></figure>
</div>


<h2 class="wp-block-heading">7 &#8211; Removing Repetition</h2>



<p>Repetition is not just about words that have been duplicated (although obviously these need removing!) &#8211; it can happen in multiple, unexpected ways.<br><br>A really common (and often overlooked) one is where the narrative repeats what the dialogue has just told us:<br><br>&#8220;Hello.&#8221; Rebecca greeted me.<br>&#8220;I would like to explain.&#8221; David felt the need to clarify.<br><br>In both these examples, the narrative is unnecessarily repeating what we have just been told in the dialogue.<br><br>Another type of repetition relates to adverbs:<br><br>He yelled loudly. (The adverb &#8220;loudly&#8221; is repeating what we&#8217;ve been told by the verb &#8220;yell&#8221;.)<br>He briefly summarised. (The word &#8220;summarise&#8221; means to make something briefer, so the adverb &#8220;briefly&#8221; is repeating what we have been told by the verb &#8220;summarise&#8221;.)<br><br>Removing repetition removes clutter and brings more definition to your writing.<br><br></p>


<div class="wp-block-image">
<figure class="aligncenter"><img decoding="async" width="72" height="65" src="https://i0.wp.com/www.mandawaller.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/Flower-single-cropped.png?resize=56%2C51&amp;ssl=1" alt="" class="wp-image-1693"/></figure>
</div>


<h2 class="wp-block-heading">8 &#8211; Unnecessary Timeline Nudges</h2>



<p>Do you need to include timeline nudges in your novel?<br>(Timeline nudges are words like then, after, while, before, with that.)<br><br>Often, authors think that readers need these nudges, so they can keep track of what&#8217;s going on. However, the sequence in which you write events indicates the sequence in which they happen.<br><br>You don&#8217;t need to say &#8220;X happened then Y happened&#8221;.<br>Instead, you can say &#8220;X happened, and Y happened&#8221; and the reader will understand that Y happened after X.<br><br>Using timeline nudges too frequently can be distracting &#8211; and your readers can end up focusing more on when things happen, and less on what you are trying to describe on the page.<br><br>Removing these nudges removes clutter and brings more definition to your writing.<br><br></p>


<div class="wp-block-image">
<figure class="aligncenter"><img decoding="async" width="72" height="65" src="https://i0.wp.com/www.mandawaller.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/Flower-single-cropped.png?resize=56%2C51&amp;ssl=1" alt="" class="wp-image-1693"/></figure>
</div>


<h2 class="wp-block-heading">9 &#8211; As You Know, Bob</h2>



<p>So what on earth is As You Know, Bob? Also called Maid and Butler Dialogue, it&#8217;s when the characters on the page share information that everyone present already knows &#8211; purely so the reader can know it too.<br><br>Have a look at this:<br><br>&#8220;I heard your wife, Rebecca, is learning the piano?&#8221;<br><br>The person being addressed clearly already knows that their wife is called Rebecca &#8211; the only reason the writer has presented it this way is so that the readers can know all about Rebecca too.<br><br>Instead, it would be better to write it as:<br><br>&#8220;I heard Rebecca is learning the piano?&#8221;<br>&#8220;Yes, my wife is a very talented woman.&#8221;<br><br>This then tells us all the information, in a more natural way.<br><br>With longer, more complicated pieces of information, it might be a good idea to introduce a new character who doesn&#8217;t have all the facts, so the other characters can discuss the details with them, and thereby keep the reader fully informed.<br><br></p>


<div class="wp-block-image">
<figure class="aligncenter"><img decoding="async" width="72" height="65" src="https://i0.wp.com/www.mandawaller.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/Flower-single-cropped.png?resize=56%2C51&amp;ssl=1" alt="" class="wp-image-1693"/></figure>
</div>


<h2 class="wp-block-heading">10 &#8211; Vocatives</h2>



<p>Are you overusing vocatives in your novel?<br><br>A vocative is a word that&#8217;s used to address someone &#8211; normally a name.<br><br>In real life, we don&#8217;t tend to use people&#8217;s names very often in conversation. Maybe at the start, when we first meet them, we might say &#8220;Hello, Name&#8221;, but then during the natural course of the conversation, we would be unlikely to repeat their name many times.<br><br>If there are only two people present, we might not use their name at all.<br><br>And if there are multiple people present, we might use a name to make sure everyone knows who we are talking to, but we might also look at someone, nudge them or tap them on the shoulder.<br><br>Often, authors use names in dialogue far more than is natural. Have a look at your dialogue &#8211; have you used names too frequently?<br><br>If you are worried that the reader isn&#8217;t going to follow who is speaking/being addressed, this is what dialogue tags and action beats are for.<br><br>Dialogue is really hard to write, and this is just one way to make it sound more natural.<br></p>


<div class="wp-block-image">
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<h2 class="wp-block-heading">In Conclusion</h2>



<p>This is part one of my self-editing tips for indie fiction authors &#8211; please see here for <a href="https://www.mandawaller.co.uk/more-self-editing-tips-for-fiction-authors/" class="ek-link">part 2</a>. And if any of the above tips are unclear, please do <a href="https://www.mandawaller.co.uk/get-in-touch/" class="ek-link">email me</a>  &#8211; I&#8217;d love to hear from you.</p>



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<p>The post <a href="https://www.mandawaller.co.uk/self-editing-tips-for-fiction-authors/">Self-Editing Tips for Fiction Authors</a> appeared first on <a href="https://www.mandawaller.co.uk">MandaWaller</a>.</p>
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		<title>Reducing Repetition and Redundancy in Your Novel</title>
		<link>https://www.mandawaller.co.uk/repetition-and-redundancy/?utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=repetition-and-redundancy</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Manda]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Fri, 25 Jun 2021 15:05:19 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[FICTION WRITING TIPS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[REDUCING EDITING COSTS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[redundancy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[repetition]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://mandawaller.co.uk/?p=888</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>Make Your Writing Tighter, part 4 How to identify and remove repetition and redundancy in your fiction writing. You might have heard the phrase ‘make every word count’. And you might have heard that ‘tight writing is good writing‘. But what do these phrases actually mean? What constitutes ‘tight writing’? What words might not be necessary? And what exactly is &#8216;telling twice&#8217;? Telling twice falls into two categories: REPETITION and REDUNDANCY. There are four main areas where novelists fall into the trap of OVERWRITING, particularly when new to the craft:–&#160;Over-direction–&#160;Excessive timeline nudges– Over-description– Repetition and Redundancy (telling twice) Many authors imagine scenes in their heads in a visual way. They see the characters as they move and interact. As a result, when they cast these imaginings into words they frequently over-describe the detail of what they are seeing. They underestimate the reader’s ability to work things out for themselves. In this final part of a four-part blog series, I offer a quick guide to understanding (and dealing with) the last of these issues – REPETITION and REDUNDANCY, OR TELLING TWICE. 1. Repetition Repetition doesn&#8217;t necessarily mean repeating the same words. There are many (many!) ways to repeat yourself when writing a novel. Punctuation Firstly, punctuation. How can you repeat yourself using punctuation? See below! &#8220;What?&#8221; she asked.&#8220;What!&#8221; she exclaimed. Both of these speech tags (she asked, she exclaimed) are repeating information already given to us by the punctuation within the speech marks (the question mark in the first example, the exclamation mark in the second). It&#8217;s not necessarily a bad thing – but if the speech tag isn&#8217;t required, then it&#8217;s better to leave it out. Let the punctuation speak for itself. Have a look at this example: Original: &#8220;That&#8217;s not—&#8221; She was interrupted before she could finish the sentence.Edited: &#8220;That&#8217;s not—&#8221; This is actually a TRIPLE tell. The em dash (—) is the punctuation mark to indicate that speech has been interrupted. Then the narrative states that she was interrupted. Then the narrative states that the interruption happened before she could finish her sentence. Where else would an interruption be? This could quite simply stand as: &#8220;That&#8217;s not—&#8221; Dialogue Dialogue can quite often stand on its own, without the need for embellishment. But sometimes writers don&#8217;t trust their dialogue enough, and feel the need to back it up with a narrative explanation. &#8220;I&#8217;m really worried about you.&#8221; David expressed his concern. See the above example. It&#8217;s stating the same thing twice. First, the dialogue tells us that David is concerned. Then the narrative repeats the sentiment. &#8220;I&#8217;m going to explain.&#8221; David felt the need to clarify. Again, the speech, on its own, is perfectly sufficient. But there is a temptation to explain the speech within the narrative. In both the above examples, the dialogue/speech would stand perfectly well on its own, without a narrative explanation. Adverbs Lots of people (particularly editors) don&#8217;t really like adverbs. This is because adverbs can sometimes be used to strengthen a weak verb, when actually a stronger verb would have been a better choice. For example, &#8220;He stood up quickly&#8221; could be strengthened to &#8220;He jumped up&#8221;. But also, adverbs can be involved in a double-tell. The snowflake floated slowly [can a snowflake float quickly?]The man shouted loudly [can a shout be anything other than loud?]The boy whispered quietly [can a whisper be anything except quiet?]The athlete quickly sprinted away [is it possible to sprint in any other way?]He briefly summarised the main points [can you summarise something in a lengthy way?] In all of the above examples, the adverbs are unnecessary. They are effectively repeating the meaning of the verb. They add nothing except clutter. Unnecessary Body Parts Another example of a double-tell is when body parts are mentioned unnecessarily. He shrugged his shoulders (what else can you shrug?). She nodded her head (what else would you nod?). He clutched the papers in his hand (where else would you clutch them?). The default position is to clutch something in your hand. It&#8217;s possible to clutch something elsewhere, but unlikely. And if it&#8217;s being clutched anywhere except in your hands, then it&#8217;s fine to clarify. Maybe clutching a rose between your buttocks, for example. Adjectives The final example of a double-tell is where multiple adjectives – with almost identical meanings – are used consecutively. The book was old and ancient.The ground was firm and hard. In the first example, old and ancient mean the same thing. Only one is needed. In the second example, firm and hard both mean the same thing. Again, only one is necessary. 2. Redundancy She wore a blue-coloured sweater.He placed the oval-shaped mirror on the wall. Both these sentences contain a redundant word. In the first example, the word &#8216;coloured&#8217; is surplus to requirements. In the second, &#8216;shaped&#8217; can be removed. So these become: She wore a blue sweater.He placed the oval mirror on the wall. There is literally no change to the meaning of either of these sentences. Removing the superfluous words has no impact on the text. This is a classic case of redundancy. Once you start looking for it, redundancy is everywhere: They combined their winnings together. [Redundancy: together]It was small in size. [Redundancy: in size]He returned back to his seat. [Redundancy: back]She was shorter in height than him. [Redundancy: in height] That I&#8217;ve heard of writing classes where students are instructed to revisit their manuscript and analyse every use of the word &#8216;that&#8217;. Although sometimes it&#8217;s necessary to include this word to maintain clarity, it can – very frequently – be removed completely. Specifically, when used in the following three situations. 1. After reporting verbs He claimed that he didn&#8217;t know. [Becomes: He claimed he didn&#8217;t know.]She suggested that it was wrong. [Becomes: She suggested it was wrong.]She told me that she wasn&#8217;t going. [Becomes: She told me she wasn&#8217;t going.] 2. After adjectives I&#8217;m disappointed that we aren&#8217;t going. [Becomes: I&#8217;m disappointed we aren&#8217;t going.]He was sad that the party was cancelled. [Becomes: He was sad the party was cancelled.]It&#8217;s unlikely that I will finish my homework. [Becomes: It&#8217;s unlikely I will finish my homework.] 3. As objects in relative clauses: She loved the book that she&#8217;d bought. [Becomes: She loved the book she&#8217;d bought.]He hated the book that he&#8217;d given her. [Becomes: He hated the book he&#8217;d given her.]The tap that you fitted is broken. [Becomes: The tap you fitted is broken.] Removing THAT in these circumstances definitely reduces redundancy, without affecting clarity. De-cluttering a sentence like this makes your writing infinitely smoother and more sophisticated. In summary Removing redundancy and repetition is ALWAYS a good idea. Even in the most literary novels, using words that mean the same thing adds nothing but clutter. Of course, there are words which are very similar but with subtly different meanings, and it&#8217;s completely acceptable to use these side by side – so long as the subtle differences are adding something, and that this is done consciously. Repetition frequently happens when an author either doesn&#8217;t trust their writing to convey the correct meaning, or doesn&#8217;t trust the reader to comprehend, or both. The examples of repetition and redundancy that I&#8217;ve illustrated above will never help to make meaning clearer. Instead, they add words where words are not necessary. In this case, less (or fewer) is definitely more. As a writer becomes more confident in their abilities, they will learn to trust their word selection, and trust their readers. They will learn to make every word count.</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://www.mandawaller.co.uk/repetition-and-redundancy/">Reducing Repetition and Redundancy in Your Novel</a> appeared first on <a href="https://www.mandawaller.co.uk">MandaWaller</a>.</p>
]]></description>
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<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="make-your-writing-tighter-part-4">Make Your Writing Tighter, part 4</h2>



<p>How to identify and remove repetition and redundancy in your fiction writing.</p>



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<p>You might have heard the phrase ‘<strong>make every word count’</strong>. And you might have heard that ‘<strong>tight writing is good writing</strong>‘. But what do these phrases actually mean? What constitutes ‘tight writing’? What words might not be necessary? And what exactly is &#8216;telling twice&#8217;? Telling twice falls into two categories: REPETITION and REDUNDANCY.</p>



<p>There are four main areas where novelists fall into the trap of OVERWRITING, particularly when new to the craft:<br>–<a href="https://mandawaller.co.uk/overwriting-part-1-over-directing/">&nbsp;Over-direction</a><br>–&nbsp;<a href="https://mandawaller.co.uk/overwriting-part-2-excessive-timeline-nudges/">Excessive timeline nudges</a><br>– <a href="https://mandawaller.co.uk/over-describing/" class="ek-link">Over-description</a><br>– Repetition and Redundancy (telling twice)</p>



<p>Many authors imagine scenes in their heads in a visual way. They see the characters as they move and interact. As a result, when they cast these imaginings into words they frequently over-describe the detail of what they are seeing. They underestimate the reader’s ability to work things out for themselves. In this final part of a four-part blog series, I offer a quick guide to understanding (and dealing with) the last of these issues – REPETITION and REDUNDANCY, OR TELLING TWICE.</p>



<p></p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="1-repetition">1. Repetition</h2>



<p>Repetition doesn&#8217;t necessarily mean repeating the same words. There are many (many!) ways to repeat yourself when writing a novel.</p>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="punctuation">Punctuation</h3>



<p>Firstly, punctuation. How can you repeat yourself using punctuation? See below!</p>



<p class="has-cyan-bluish-gray-background-color has-background has-medium-font-size">&#8220;What?&#8221; she asked.<br>&#8220;What!&#8221; she exclaimed.</p>



<p></p>



<p>Both of these speech tags (she asked, she exclaimed) are repeating information already given to us by the punctuation within the speech marks (the question mark in the first example, the exclamation mark in the second). It&#8217;s not <em>necessarily </em>a bad thing – but if the speech tag isn&#8217;t required, then it&#8217;s better to leave it out. Let the punctuation speak for itself.</p>



<p>Have a look at this example:</p>



<p class="has-cyan-bluish-gray-background-color has-background has-medium-font-size">Original: &#8220;That&#8217;s not—&#8221; She was interrupted before she could finish the sentence.<br>Edited: &#8220;That&#8217;s not—&#8221;</p>



<p>This is actually a TRIPLE tell. The em dash (—) is the punctuation mark to indicate that speech has been interrupted. Then the narrative states that she was interrupted. Then the narrative states that the interruption happened before she could finish her sentence. Where else would an interruption be?</p>



<p>This could quite simply stand as: &#8220;That&#8217;s not—&#8221;</p>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="dialogue">Dialogue</h3>



<p>Dialogue can quite often stand on its own, without the need for embellishment. But sometimes writers don&#8217;t trust their dialogue enough, and feel the need to back it up with a narrative explanation.</p>



<p class="has-cyan-bluish-gray-background-color has-background has-medium-font-size">&#8220;I&#8217;m really worried about you.&#8221; David expressed his concern.</p>



<p>See the above example. It&#8217;s stating the same thing twice. First, the dialogue tells us that David is concerned. Then the narrative repeats the sentiment.</p>



<p class="has-cyan-bluish-gray-background-color has-background has-medium-font-size">&#8220;I&#8217;m going to explain.&#8221; David felt the need to clarify.</p>



<p>Again, the speech, on its own, is perfectly sufficient. But there is a temptation to explain the speech within the narrative. In both the above examples, the dialogue/speech would stand perfectly well on its own, without a narrative explanation.</p>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="adverbs">Adverbs</h3>



<p>Lots of people (particularly editors) don&#8217;t really like adverbs. This is because adverbs can sometimes be used to strengthen a weak verb, when actually a stronger verb would have been a better choice. For example, &#8220;He stood up quickly&#8221; could be strengthened to &#8220;He jumped up&#8221;. But also, adverbs can be involved in a double-tell. </p>



<p>The snowflake floated slowly [can a snowflake float quickly?]<br>The man shouted loudly [can a shout be anything other than loud?]<br>The boy whispered quietly [can a whisper be anything except quiet?]<br>The athlete quickly sprinted away [is it possible to sprint in any other way?]<br>He briefly summarised the main points [can you summarise something in a lengthy way?]</p>



<p>In all of the above examples, the adverbs are unnecessary. They are effectively repeating the meaning of the verb. They add nothing except clutter.</p>


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<figure class="aligncenter size-large"><img data-recalc-dims="1" decoding="async" width="245" height="253" src="https://i0.wp.com/mandawaller.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/image-1.png?resize=245%2C253&#038;ssl=1" alt="" class="wp-image-891"/></figure>
</div>


<h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="unnecessary-body-parts">Unnecessary Body Parts</h3>



<p>Another example of a double-tell is when body parts are mentioned unnecessarily. He shrugged his shoulders (what else can you shrug?). She nodded her head (what else would you nod?). He clutched the papers in his hand (where else would you clutch them?). The default position is to clutch something in your hand. It&#8217;s <em>possible</em> to clutch something elsewhere, but unlikely. And if it&#8217;s being clutched anywhere <em>except </em>in your hands, then it&#8217;s fine to clarify. Maybe clutching a rose between your buttocks, for example.</p>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="adjectives">Adjectives</h3>



<p>The final example of a double-tell is where multiple adjectives – with almost identical meanings – are used consecutively.</p>



<p class="has-cyan-bluish-gray-background-color has-background has-medium-font-size">The book was old and ancient.<br>The ground was firm and hard. </p>



<p>In the first example, old and ancient mean the same thing. Only one is needed. In the second example, firm and hard both mean the same thing. Again, only one is necessary. </p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="2-redundancy">2. Redundancy</h2>



<p class="has-cyan-bluish-gray-background-color has-background has-medium-font-size">She wore a blue-coloured sweater.<br>He placed the oval-shaped mirror on the wall.</p>



<p>Both these sentences contain a redundant word. In the first example, the word &#8216;coloured&#8217; is surplus to requirements. In the second, &#8216;shaped&#8217; can be removed. So these become:</p>



<p class="has-cyan-bluish-gray-background-color has-background has-medium-font-size">She wore a blue sweater.<br>He placed the oval mirror on the wall.</p>



<p>There is literally <em>no</em> change to the meaning of either of these sentences. Removing the superfluous words has <em>no </em>impact on the text. This is a classic case of redundancy.</p>



<p>Once you start looking for it, redundancy is everywhere:</p>



<p class="has-cyan-bluish-gray-background-color has-background has-medium-font-size">They combined their winnings together. [Redundancy: together]<br>It was small in size. [Redundancy: in size]<br>He returned back to his seat. [Redundancy: back]<br>She was shorter in height than him. [Redundancy: in height]</p>



<h3 class="wp-block-heading" id="that">That</h3>



<p>I&#8217;ve heard of writing classes where students are instructed to revisit their manuscript and analyse every use of the word &#8216;that&#8217;. Although sometimes it&#8217;s necessary to include this word to maintain clarity, it can – very frequently – be removed completely. Specifically, when used in the following three situations.</p>



<h4 class="wp-block-heading" id="1-after-reporting-verbs">1. After reporting verbs</h4>



<p>He claimed that he didn&#8217;t know. [Becomes: He claimed he didn&#8217;t know.]<br>She suggested that it was wrong. [Becomes: She suggested it was wrong.]<br>She told me that she wasn&#8217;t going. [Becomes: She told me she wasn&#8217;t going.]</p>



<h4 class="wp-block-heading" id="2-after-adjectives">2. After adjectives </h4>



<p>I&#8217;m disappointed that we aren&#8217;t going. [Becomes: I&#8217;m disappointed we aren&#8217;t going.]<br>He was sad that the party was cancelled. [Becomes: He was sad the party was cancelled.]<br>It&#8217;s unlikely that I will finish my homework. [Becomes: It&#8217;s unlikely I will finish my homework.]</p>



<h4 class="wp-block-heading" id="3-as-objects-in-relative-clauses">3. As objects in relative clauses:</h4>



<p>She loved the book that she&#8217;d bought. [Becomes: She loved the book she&#8217;d bought.]<br>He hated the book that he&#8217;d given her. [Becomes: He hated the book he&#8217;d given her.]<br>The tap that you fitted is broken. [Becomes: The tap you fitted is broken.]</p>



<p>Removing THAT in these circumstances definitely reduces redundancy, without affecting clarity. De-cluttering a sentence like this makes your writing infinitely smoother and more sophisticated.</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="in-summary">In summary</h2>



<p>Removing redundancy and repetition is ALWAYS a good idea. Even in the most literary novels, using words that mean the same thing adds nothing but clutter. Of course, there are words which are very similar but with subtly different meanings, and it&#8217;s completely acceptable to use these side by side – so long as the subtle differences are adding something, and that this is done consciously.  </p>



<p>Repetition frequently happens when an author either doesn&#8217;t trust their writing to convey the correct meaning, or doesn&#8217;t trust the reader to comprehend, or both. The examples of repetition and redundancy that I&#8217;ve illustrated above will never help to make meaning clearer. Instead, they add words where words are not necessary. In this case, less (or fewer) is definitely more.</p>



<p>As a writer becomes more confident in their abilities, they will learn to trust their word selection, and trust their readers. They will learn to make every word count.<br></p>



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</div><p>The post <a href="https://www.mandawaller.co.uk/repetition-and-redundancy/">Reducing Repetition and Redundancy in Your Novel</a> appeared first on <a href="https://www.mandawaller.co.uk">MandaWaller</a>.</p>
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