If you’re a novelist looking to bring your story to life, it’s important for you to learn about playing with narrative distance. Playing with narrative distance may sound like an abstract term, but actually you can just think of it as a camera lens that zooms in and out, allowing you to reveal your imagined world from both a closeup and a pulled back perspective.

What is narrative distance?

Narrative distance is the space between your readers and your characters. In some moments, you’ll want your readers to be right next to (or even in the shoes of) your characters, letting them see what they are seeing, hear what they are hearing, smell what they are smelling, and even give them access to what your characters are thinking. At other times, you might pull back and look at the bigger picture, giving your reader a wider sense of the world around them, or a sense of distance from a situation.

The best part? By learning how to play with this narrative distance, you can enhance your storytelling and control the emotional tone of your scenes.

Zooming In: Getting Close to Your Character

When you zoom in on your character, you’re getting so close that you can feel their emotions, sense the world around them, and even hear the thoughts racing through their mind. This deep connection allows your reader to become immersed in the character’s inner world, creating intimacy and empathy, and ensuring your readers are really invested, and really engaged.

So, how do you pull off this technique? Here are a couple of ways:

1. Focus on Sensory Details:

Describe what the character is experiencing through their senses. What are they touching, seeing, smelling, or hearing? When you zoom in, these details will feel more immediate and personal. Take care not to use filter words like heard, saw, observed, realised, felt. The example I always give is this:
He heard a dog bark – this is telling your readers that your character can hear a dog bark.
A dog barked – this is showing your readers that a dog is barking, and lets them hear it for themselves.

2. Use Deep Point of View/Free Indirect Speech

Instead of narrating events from a distance, let the character’s voice dominate. Free indirect speech (FIS) lets your character’s thoughts flow directly onto the page, blending the point of view character’s thoughts with the narrative.

For example:
He wondered whether it was going to rain or snow, and couldn’t work out what was going on with the weather. This is telling us that the character is wondering what is going on. This is distant – it’s being described to us.
“What is going on with the weather?” he wondered. “Is it going to rain? Or snow?” This is closer, showing us what he is thinking, using direct thought.
What on earth was going on with the weather? Was it going to rain? Or snow? This is really up close – you are inside the character’s head, experiencing his inner dialogue.

This makes readers feel like they’re experiencing everything right alongside your character, in real time.

Zooming Out: Creating a Broader View

When you zoom out, you shift your focus away from your character’s personal experience and move it to the world around them. This technique is great for providing context or setting the scene, or moving things on quickly using a summary of events. You can reveal the landscape, describe a bustling city street, or show how your character fits into a bigger picture. By pulling back, you allow your readers to see how everything connects.

Here are some methods to zoom out effectively:

1. Shift to a Larger Scope

Instead of focusing on the character’s immediate emotions, show the setting, the environment, or the larger conflict at play. This gives the reader a bird’s-eye view of what’s happening.

2. Multiple Points of View

If you’re writing in third person, switching to a different character’s perspective can offer a more detached view of the situation. You might show how your main character’s actions fit into the greater plot, or how others are reacting to the same event.

3. Use Abstract Descriptions

Rather than describing things from a personal perspective, you can make use of broader, more abstract descriptions. For instance, instead of saying “She was nervous,” you might describe the stormy weather or the sense of unease in the room.

Example showing the difference, using a Romance/Fantasy extract

Firstly, zoomed out:
The evening air was crisp, with a hint of magic that hung in the wind. Tall, dark trees stretched out over the path, their branches almost seeming to whisper in the fading light. The world around her felt both vast and unknown, as if time itself had stopped for just a moment.

And then zoomed in:
The cold air bit at her skin, but it was the magic that sent a shiver down her spine. Her heart raced, maybe from the chill or maybe from the strangeness that lingered in the air – something ancient, something powerful. She reached out, fingertips brushing the rough bark of the nearest tree, and for a brief moment, the whispering winds seemed to speak directly to her.

Why Does Narrative Distance Matter?

Why you should bother with all this shifting of perspective? Using both close and wide narrative distances allows you to control how your reader experiences your story. Close-ups build tension, emotional depth, and connection, while wide shots offer a sense of scale, context, and anticipation.

This is especially important when your novel involves complex emotional journeys (romance; romantasy) or grand, sweeping adventures (fantasy; romantasy; sci-fi). By manipulating narrative distance, you can heighten the emotional stakes in romantic scenes or make the fantasy world feel larger and more immersive.

How to Use Narrative Distance in Your Writing

If you want to play with narrative distance in your fiction, try writing the same scene using both techniques. Start with a zoomed-in, deeply personal moment, and rewrite the scene, giving your readers a bigger perspective by pulling the camera back. This will help you learn how to switch between the two as you write, enhancing the experience for your readers.

Whether you’re writing the first kiss of your romantic fantasy, or the moment your character realises their destiny, changing your narrative distance will help you craft a more dynamic and engaging story.

Final Tip for Playing With Narrative Distance

Don’t be afraid to experiment with these techniques within one scene. You don’t have to stick to one narrative distance throughout a scene or a chapter. The beauty of storytelling is that you can zoom in for those intimate moments and then pull back to reveal the bigger picture. Your readers will thank you for it! If you’d like support with your manuscript please do get in touch.

The post Playing with Narrative Distance appeared first on MandaWaller.

Equally, if you suddenly start describing things from another character’s point of view, this is called head-hopping. Head-hopping can result in your readers losing interest or engagement, and – even worse – it can become confusing.

You want your readers to fully engage with your characters – to love them or hate them, to want to be their friend or to loathe them with a passion. And to do this, you need to carefully manage the way you handle point of view.

But what about when something happens – that’s crucial for the plot – when the point of view character is absent? When they are unconscious, or asleep, or just somewhere else?

In this post I will give you some suggestions for how to handle the point of view character being absent, and demonstrate how to avoid head-hopping, but don’t forget that this is something your editor can help with, particularly if they offer developmental editing services.

Is the scene important?

The first question to ask when you find yourself writing a scene in which your point of view (POV) character is absent is whether the scene is actually critical. Every scene in your novel needs to have a purpose. It needs to advance the story and move the plot forward. Just adding character depth or interest is not a good enough purpose.

If the scene has no discernible purpose, delete it. There may be bits of prose you’ve spent hours agonising over, and sentences you are particularly fond of, but you can keep these and repurpose them in another scene.

Can your point of view character witness the scene, without being part of it?

Can your POV character be aware of the action, the events, the information being discussed, without actually being part of the scene?

Maybe they could be hiding in the hedge, watching through the foliage. In this example, they can obviously hear and see everything (or most things), so you can describe everything unfolding in front of them. There may be bits of the conversation that they can’t quite hear – and you can use this to your advantage if you want to mislead your character (and your readers).

Maybe they could be pretending to be asleep, overhear one side of a telephone conversation, or be hiding just outside the room and eavesdropping. In these three examples, the POV character can only describe what they can hear, so the narrative needs to reflect this. Don’t fall into the trap of describing visual elements too.

Can another character tell them about it later?

If major events happen when your POV character is absent, then another way to convey this information to your readers is for another character to report the events at a later point.

This can be done through dialogue – maybe your point of view character finds out that something important has unfolded, and interrogates a character who was present at the time. Maybe the details just come out naturally in conversation.

This way, your readers can know every detail witnessed by the character who was present. To add more twists and dimension, this character might be an unreliable witness, perceiving events through their own prejudice and assumptions.

Carefully construct a secondary point of view character

If none of the suggestions above quite match your intentions for the scene, then there’s the option of creating a second POV character. This means you can allow your readers full access to the events unfolding and provide them with your second POV character’s emotional response.

This is useful for portraying events which happened before your POV character was born (for example). To create a second point of view character, there are a few considerations to take into account.

Firstly, pick your character carefully. Ideally, this character needs to be central to the plot, but not appearing in many scenes. It would be incongruous to have just one chapter or scene from a character who appears throughout the book. Your readers will wonder why we only have access to them for the one occasion, and they are probably likely to see through this as a writing device.

Secondly, this second POV character needs to have their own scene. Jumping from your primary POV to your secondary POV within the same scene can easily descend into head-hopping (unless you are a seriously skilled wordsmith). Instead, use a section break (or, even better, a chapter break) to signpost to your reader that there has been a jump.

Thirdly, clearly and openly express that you are investing in a second POV character. It needs to be obvious from the very first sentence of this section that your readers are experiencing a different POV. This can be easily achieved by using their name as the first word in the scene:

James wasn’t happy with the way his life was going. Why did these things always happen to him? Had he been mean in a previous existence? Sometimes, he felt like he was wading through mud, just to keep still.
His shoulders tensed as he gazed out at the darkening day. A man – thickset and tall – was striding confidently towards the house. Was that a gun? Probably. Given the way his day was going, James was not at all surprised.
He ducked down beneath the sink. Please please make this all go away, he thought as something heavy hit the back door. Please don’t let me die today. I’m only thirty-two.
The back door flew open and James threw up his hands. “I surrender. Whatever it is you want, just take it!”
The intruder ignored him, marching past him into the hall and thumping up the stairs. What on earth did he want? “I haven’t got anything valuable,” James shouted. Which wasn’t true. He had the stones. And they were more valuable than gold.

In this example, we are firmly and instantly inside James’s head. Using free indirect speech (why did these things always happen to him?) rather than direct thought (Why do these things always happen to me? he thought) quickly brings the reader in really close and allows them an up close and personal relation with the new POV character.

Ideally, this new POV character should have a different voice from your main POV character. They should sound different – and I don’t mean give them an accent! Try using different sentence structures to indicate a different personality (perhaps they could be anxious and their narrative could be expressed in quick sentences, for example).

Switch Narrative Styles

It may be that you don’t have a character like James in your novel – who appears infrequently but is central to the plot. Maybe you don’t want to confuse your readers by developing a second point of view.

In this instance, you can draw the narrative viewpoint back to reveal just the observable evidence, and take away the emotion. Rather than create a three-dimensional character with thoughts and feelings, you can create someone who is only there to relay the facts.

To revisit the scene earlier where James is looking through the window and being sad about his existence:

A man – thickset and tall and carrying a gun – was walking confidently towards the house. James tried to hide, but it was useless as the back door burst open and the intruder marched in. “I surrender. Whatever it is you want, just take it!” James cried. The man pushed past him and stomped up the stairs. When he came back down, he was holding the stones. The stones that were more valuable than gold. And then, the man was gone.

In this example, there is no emotion. The scene is being described, really, from no one’s point of view. This omniscient lens results in detached writing which can allow you some freedom to describe scenes where the POV character is not present, but – because of the emotional detachment – this type of writing will not engage your readers.

It’s literally a description of events, with no perspective or emotional value added, so this narrative style should be used sparingly.

In conclusion

Take care with scenes that happen when your point of view character is absent. There are a number of devices you can use to avoid head-hopping, and when done carefully it’s perfectly possible to describe events that unfold without your POV character witnessing them. Don’t forget that your editor can help you with this as part of their line editing or developmental editing services, and please do get in touch with any questions.

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