The better your manuscript is before you send it to a fiction editor for some professional attention, the better your final, published book will be.

Authors and editors can work together to ensure better readability – this in turn will make your book more marketable and will result in better reviews.

I’m a freelance editorial professional, and my job is to look at manuscripts and check for issues with punctuation, grammar, typos, word choice, pace and inconsistencies. But there are many things that you – the novelist – can do to elevate your manuscript before you look for a book professional to copyedit, line edit and proofread your book.

Below is part one of my list of self-editing tips for indie fiction authors – see here for part 2!

1 – Let It Rest

When you’ve finished writing your first draft, and you’ve just typed “THE END”, should you start self-editing immediately?

You may be relieved to have reached the end of your manuscript, and you may need a break (everyone is entitled to a holiday, even full-time writers!).

However, you might be tempted to jump straight back to the start and begin the first round of self-editing.

Either way, it’s best not to start editing immediately. Put your manuscript in a digital drawer and leave it to percolate, ferment, breathe.

How long you do this for is up to you, but I’d recommend a minimum of two weeks.

During this time, you don’t have to stop writing, but you should try really hard not to tinker with your manuscript.

When you come back to your manuscript, you will find that you have a different perspective, and you are far more likely to pick up on far more things than if you’d barrelled straight into the editing process immediately.

Giving yourself a break is good for you, and good for your manuscript!

2 – Dialogue Tags

Is it possible to nod words? Or smile them? Or shrug them?

I’d argue that none of these work as dialogue tags (with certain exceptions – some fantasy sub-genres being one of them).

It might just about be possible to cough, sigh, hiccup or laugh a word. But definitely not a sentence.

And you really can’t sneeze words. Except maybe “aachoo”.

The safest dialogue tags are said, asked, replied. Whispered, shouted, mumbled, yelled are also perfectly fine.

I’ll leave you with these fine examples (which I’d recommend you avoid!): posited, opined, husked, ejaculated.

Note:
– If your dialogue ends with a comma before the closing quotes, what comes after the closing quotes is a dialogue tag.
– if your dialogue ends with a full stop or period before the closing quotes, what comes after the closing quotes is an action beat.

3 – That

There are a lot of people who don’t like the word “that” when it’s used as a conjunction. I’ve heard stories of authors being told to remove them all from their manuscripts.

Sometimes, the word “that” is necessary for clarity, pace or tone. But sometimes it’s just not needed.

Have a look at this:
I knew that he was going to be late -vs- I knew he was going to be late.
It was obvious that she was younger than him -vs- It was obvious she was younger than him.

In both these examples, the word “that” can be removed without affecting the meaning or clarity. You could possibly argue that the tone is slightly different, and of course that’s the author’s call.

However, if a word can be removed without impacting on clarity or meaning, it’s an indication that its use should be reviewed.

Removing the “that”s in the sentences above removes clutter, and this is always something to be promoted.

There ARE some sentences where the word “that” is needed as a conjunction:

I’ve heard that you snore -vs- I’ve heard you snore

The second example (I’ve heard you snore) could mean two different things (I’ve heard THAT you snore, or I’ve heard you snoring), so in this case, the word that is needed for clarity.

4 – Strong Verbs

You’ve probably heard how editors don’t like adverbs.

This is because the presence of adverbs often indicates the presence of weaker verbs.

(An adverb is just a word that modifies a verb – so in the sentence “I ran quickly”, the word “quickly” is an adverb, modifying the verb “to run”.)

Have a look at the verbs you are using in your manuscript.

Do you find yourself leaning on adverbs to support weaker verbs?

Are your characters running quickly (when they could be sprinting), walking cautiously (when they could be tiptoeing), speaking quietly (when they could be whispering), speaking quickly (when they could be blurting)?

Often, adverbs are an indicator that your narrative (or dialogue) could be strengthened by reviewing your verbs.

5 – Lengthy Monologues

Have a look at your dialogue.

Do you have large paragraphs where one person is constantly speaking?

This doesn’t tend to happen in real life.

Even when someone is giving a speech, they are still looking around the room, looking down at their notes, taking a sip of water, pointing at something on the screen.

In everyday conversation, when someone is talking it’s very rare for them to go on for too long without being interrupted, or without the other people in the room saying or doing something.

Not only is it unrealistic to have lengthy uninterrupted monologues in your novel, it also results in a lack of white space on the pace. Solid blocks of text make your manuscript harder to read, and too many of them are likely to put your readers off (even if only subconsciously).

So this tip is to review your lengthy monologues and see if they can be broken up with action beats, or other characters joining in.

6 – Removing Redundancy

Can you shrug any part of your body except your shoulders?
(he shrugged his shoulders becomes simply he shrugged)

Can you kick any part of your body except your feet?
(she kicked the ball with her foot becomes simply she kicked the ball)

Can you clasp with anything other than your hands?
(he clasped the paper in his hand becomes simply he clasped the paper)

It’s important to remove unnecessary clutter, and to make every word count.

7 – Removing Repetition

Repetition is not just about words that have been duplicated (although obviously these need removing!) – it can happen in multiple, unexpected ways.

A really common (and often overlooked) one is where the narrative repeats what the dialogue has just told us:

“Hello.” Rebecca greeted me.
“I would like to explain.” David felt the need to clarify.

In both these examples, the narrative is unnecessarily repeating what we have just been told in the dialogue.

Another type of repetition relates to adverbs:

He yelled loudly. (The adverb “loudly” is repeating what we’ve been told by the verb “yell”.)
He briefly summarised. (The word “summarise” means to make something briefer, so the adverb “briefly” is repeating what we have been told by the verb “summarise”.)

Removing repetition removes clutter and brings more definition to your writing.

8 – Unnecessary Timeline Nudges

Do you need to include timeline nudges in your novel?
(Timeline nudges are words like then, after, while, before, with that.)

Often, authors think that readers need these nudges, so they can keep track of what’s going on. However, the sequence in which you write events indicates the sequence in which they happen.

You don’t need to say “X happened then Y happened”.
Instead, you can say “X happened, and Y happened” and the reader will understand that Y happened after X.

Using timeline nudges too frequently can be distracting – and your readers can end up focusing more on when things happen, and less on what you are trying to describe on the page.

Removing these nudges removes clutter and brings more definition to your writing.

9 – As You Know, Bob

So what on earth is As You Know, Bob? Also called Maid and Butler Dialogue, it’s when the characters on the page share information that everyone present already knows – purely so the reader can know it too.

Have a look at this:

“I heard your wife, Rebecca, is learning the piano?”

The person being addressed clearly already knows that their wife is called Rebecca – the only reason the writer has presented it this way is so that the readers can know all about Rebecca too.

Instead, it would be better to write it as:

“I heard Rebecca is learning the piano?”
“Yes, my wife is a very talented woman.”

This then tells us all the information, in a more natural way.

With longer, more complicated pieces of information, it might be a good idea to introduce a new character who doesn’t have all the facts, so the other characters can discuss the details with them, and thereby keep the reader fully informed.

10 – Vocatives

Are you overusing vocatives in your novel?

A vocative is a word that’s used to address someone – normally a name.

In real life, we don’t tend to use people’s names very often in conversation. Maybe at the start, when we first meet them, we might say “Hello, Name”, but then during the natural course of the conversation, we would be unlikely to repeat their name many times.

If there are only two people present, we might not use their name at all.

And if there are multiple people present, we might use a name to make sure everyone knows who we are talking to, but we might also look at someone, nudge them or tap them on the shoulder.

Often, authors use names in dialogue far more than is natural. Have a look at your dialogue – have you used names too frequently?

If you are worried that the reader isn’t going to follow who is speaking/being addressed, this is what dialogue tags and action beats are for.

Dialogue is really hard to write, and this is just one way to make it sound more natural.

In Conclusion

This is part one of my self-editing tips for indie fiction authors – please see here for part 2. And if any of the above tips are unclear, please do email me – I’d love to hear from you.

The post Self-Editing Tips for Fiction Authors appeared first on MandaWaller.

How to avoid OVERWRITING in fiction novels by looking at excessive timeline nudges.

You might have heard the phrase ‘make every word count’. And you might have heard that ‘tight writing is good writing‘. But what do these phrases actually mean? What constitutes ‘tight writing’? And what words might not be necessary?

There are four main areas where novelists fall into the trap of OVERWRITING, particularly when new to the craft:
– Over-direction
– Excessive timeline nudges
– Over-description
– Repetition and Redundancy (telling twice)

Many authors imagine scenes in their heads in a visual way. They see the characters as they move and interact. As a result, when they cast these imaginings into words they frequently over-describe the detail of what they are seeing. They underestimate the reader’s ability to work things out for themselves. In this second part of a four-part blog series, I offer a quick guide to understanding (and dealing with) the second of these issues – EXCESSIVE TIMELINE NUDGES.

Excessive Timeline Nudges (as, when, then, after, while, before)

Again, timeline nudges are more necessary in a screenplay, and less necessary in a novel. Timeline nudges are words such as then, before, after, while. Unless activities are happening out of the expected sequence, the reader can be trusted to work out the order in which things are happening – simply by the order in which they are written.

He turned on the television then pulled the curtains while breathing deeply.
Could be simplified to:
Breathing deeply, he turned on the television and pulled the curtains.

“I’m getting out of here!” he said, and with those words he left.
Could be simplified to:
“I’m getting out of here!” he said, and left.

These excessive timeline nudges are unnecessary, and their removal will tighten up your writing – moving towards the holy grail of making every word count. But their removal will also do something else – they will narrow the narrative distance.

Show, Don’t Tell

Constantly being told about the order in which things happen reminds the reader that the story in front of them is being described to them, rather than being experienced by them. It’s another example of telling rather than showing. And every time a reader is told something, rather than being shown it, the narrative distance – the gap between the reader and their immersion in the story – gets bigger. Sometimes a big gap is a good thing – when you want to take a step back to provide a broader impression of a scene. But all the examples above happen at a point where the author wants the reader to engage with the characters. And an obtrusive narrative voice is probably best avoided.

See below a paragraph taken from the wonderful book ‘On the Beach’ by Nevil Shute:

The chemist took out one of each and went back into the dispensary. He undid the smaller of the two; it contained a little plastic vial with two white tablets in it. He opened it, took out the tablets, put them carefully away, and substituted two tablets of aspirin. He put the vial back in the red box and closed it. He handed it to Peter.

There is a fair amount of action here. And it’s step-by-step action, so could very easily have contained several timeline nudges. There isn’t a single one – and as a result, it’s a clean, uncluttered rendition of the events. But the reader is fully aware of the sequence of events. Simply by the order in which the events are described, the reader can know – instinctively – how the activities unfolded.

Have a look at the same paragraph below – with apologies to Nevil Shute, I have butchered it to show how excessive timeline nudges would weaken the narrative.

The chemist took out one of each and then went back into the dispensary. Whilst there, he undid the smaller of the two; it contained a little plastic vial with two white tablets in it. He opened it, then took out the tablets, after which he put them carefully away, then substituted two tablets of aspirin. Following this, he put the vial back in the red box and closed it. Finally, he handed it to Peter.

It feels cluttered and the narrative voice is intrusive. I feel like I’m being told what’s going on, rather than witnessing it for myself. It’s also – forgive me – a little patronising.

Once you are aware of this, it’s very easy to deal with this overwriting. Just look out for the timeline prompts (as, when, then, after, before, etc.), remove them and check whether the sentence works just as well without them.

Trust your reader to work things out. Trust your writing. And make every word count.

Are you looking for an editor? Please contact me – I would be delighted to help.

The post Get Rid of Then, Before and While in Your Novel appeared first on MandaWaller.