Why Use Grunts, Groans, and Verbal Tics in Dialogue?

Listen to the conversations going on around you. How often do you hear a completely smooth conversation without a single hesitation or filler word? Real speech is messy. Including grunts, groans, and verbal fillers in your dialogue can:

• Add authenticity: Realistic speech makes characters relatable.
• Reveal emotions: A sigh can convey sadness, frustration, or relief without needing a long description.
• Show hesitation or discomfort: An ‘uh’ or ‘um’ can reveal a character’s uncertainty or nervousness.
• Break the monotony of perfect speech: Perfectly polished dialogue can feel artificial, especially in informal settings.

The Fine Line Between Realism and Overkill

By including grunts, groans, ums, ahs and ers, you will add depth to your characters and create dialogue that’s more natural and engaging. However, it’s crucial not to overdo it. Excessive grunts and fillers can frustrate readers and bog down your story. As with so many things, balance is key.

Do:

• Use verbal tics sparingly to emphasise important moments.
• Match the tone and personality of the character.
• Vary your approach across different characters.

Don’t:

• Overload dialogue with sounds to the point where it becomes unreadable.
• Use the same filler repeatedly for multiple characters.
• Let fillers overshadow the actual dialogue.

How to Write Grunts and Groans in Dialogue

Grunts and groans are fantastic tools for expressing emotion, but be careful to use them consciously.

1. Match the Sound to the Emotion

Each sound has its own emotional resonance:

• Grunts: Indicate frustration, effort, annoyance or disgust.
  • Example: He heaved the heavy crate into the truck. ‘Ugh,’ he muttered, smelling his armpits.
• Groans: Suggest pain, reluctance, or exasperation.
  • Example: She groaned. ‘Do we have to?’ she asked, dragging her feet. (Note that in this example, ‘groaned’ is not a dialogue tag. Do you think it’s possible to groan a whole sentence?)
• Sighs: Convey relief, sadness, or resignation.
  • Example: She exhaled a long sigh. ‘I guess you’re right.’

2. Describe the Sound

If a simple ‘ugh’ or ‘pffft’ doesn’t seem to provide enough detail or you’re worried your readers might miss the nuance, you can always use verbs like ‘she huffed’ or ‘they grunted’ to give readers context.

• Example: He let out a low, guttural grunt, the kind that said ‘I’m too tired for this.’

3. Use Onomatopoeia (But Wisely)

Onomatopoeia – words that imitate sounds – can add flair to your writing. Stick to common spellings and avoid getting too creative with sound effects.

• Good: Hmm. Ugh. Huh?
• Overkill: Hnnnnnngh. Grraaaargh. Ploooop.

Also remember that if you want to elongate a sound, make sure you stretch the right part of the word. So argh becomes aaaaaargh, and not arghhhh.

4. Tailor Sounds to Each Character

Just as people have unique voices, they also have unique verbal habits. Your stoic, no-nonsense detective might grunt to express annoyance, while your chatty teen might lean on ‘umm’ when stalling for time.

• Example:
  • Detective: ‘Hmph. Not much of a lead, is it?’
  • Teenager: ‘Um, I mean, like, I guess?’

Writing Ums and Ers: Filling the Gaps

Verbal fillers like ‘um’ and ‘er’ are excellent for showing hesitation or thought processes. However, these need to be handled carefully or they can really, like, become, er, irritating.

1. Keep It Natural

Think about how people use fillers in real life. They usually indicate:

• Searching for the right word.
• Stalling for time.
• Feeling nervous or unsure.
• Example: ‘I, um, think we should go this way?’

2. Limit Their Use

While fillers can make dialogue realistic, too many can frustrate readers. Use them sparingly and purposefully.

• Overdone: ‘So, um, I was, uh, like, thinking, er, maybe we could, um, you know, go?’
• Balanced: ‘So, um, I was thinking maybe we could go?’
• You can also use ellipses to good effect: ‘So… I was thinking maybe we could go?’

3. Vary the Placement

Don’t always stick fillers at the beginning of a sentence. Mix things up for realism.

• Example:
  • ‘Um, I think we should wait.’
  • ‘I think we should, um, wait.’

Using Body Language Alongside Sounds

Grunts, groans, and verbal fillers often go hand-in-hand with body language. Pairing them creates a richer, more vivid scene.

• Example:
  • Sound only: He sighed. ‘Fine, I’ll do it.’
  • Sound + body language: He sighed, running a hand through his hair. ‘Fine, I’ll do it.’

You can see how adding body language makes the moment feel more alive and grounded.

Avoiding Common Pitfalls

When writing grunts, groans and fillers, keep these tips in mind to avoid common missteps:

1. Don’t Overuse Sounds for One Character

If every line of dialogue includes an ‘uh’ or ‘ugh’, it will quickly become annoying. Diversify your character’s speech patterns.

2. Avoid Confusing Spelling

Stick to commonly understood spellings for sounds. Overly creative spellings can confuse readers and pull them out of the story.

• Example:
  • Simple: Pfft
  • Confusing: Pffffffffffthhhhhhhht

3. Balance Realism with Readability

While real-life speech is full of fillers and sounds, when writing a novel you need to make sure that every word counts. Aim for a balance that feels natural but doesn’t overwhelm (or annoy!) the reader.

In Conclusion: Making Your Dialogue Sing (and Groan!)

Grunts, groans, ums, and ers might seem like minor details, but they play a big role in creating realistic, engaging dialogue. When used thoughtfully, these sounds can highlight a character’s emotions, show hesitation or thought processes and add authenticity and texture to your story.

Remember, though, that balance is key – a little goes a long way. If you’d like to chat about having your novel edited, please do contact me. I’m always happy to answer questions.

The post How to Write Grunts, Groans, Ums, Ahs and Ers in Your Novel appeared first on MandaWaller.

In this post, I’ll have a look at the key aspects of pacing and flow, and give you some tips to help you keep your readers hooked.

Pacing. What is it and why does it matter?

Pacing refers to the speed at which your story unfolds. It’s all about the rhythm of your narrative and how things move from one moment to the next. Think of pacing as the heartbeat of your novel—it dictates how quickly (or slowly) the plot develops and how much breathing space you give your readers between important moments.

Get the pacing wrong, and you’ll lose your readers.

If things move too slowly, your readers may get bored and – even worse – put the book down, never to finish.

On the other hand, if the pace is too fast, details may get missed, and readers may feel overwhelmed and disoriented.

Finding the pacing sweet spot is tricky. There needs to be enough tension and excitement to keep people turning the pages, but also enough time to give your audience space digest important moments, connect with characters, and understand the stakes.

Flow: The Secret to Smooth Reading

Flow is how effortlessly your story moves from one idea to the next. How well do your scenes transition? How clear is your prose? Are your readers being pulled out of the narrative by awkward phrasing or confusing shifts in time (or perspective).

You want your readers to enjoy the journey from beginning to end, almost without noticing that they are travelling.

If your story flows well, it’s much easier to manage pacing, because the transitions between scenes and chapters feel natural, helping to keep the momentum going. How do you edit your manuscript to improve pacing and flow?

Tip 1: Vary Sentence Length

An effective way to manage pacing and flow is to experiment with sentence length. Short, punchy sentences speed up the pacing, especially in action scenes.

For example: “She jumped up. The window was opening. Don’t think! Just run!”

The pace in this example is fast and frantic, adding tension and drama. If you described the same moment with long, winding sentence, the urgency would be lost.

Longer sentences slow things down. This can be a really useful tool when you want to give your reader some space from all the drama, or dive into more emotional, thoughtful scenes. Descriptive passages often benefit from a slower pace, allowing readers to take in the atmosphere or the character’s internal monologue.

For example: “The moon was full and round, sending silvery light across the ocean. He took a deep breath, feeling the tension slip from his heart, and turned to face his future.”

It’s also important not to use the same sentence length too much. Keep an eye out for things starting to feel repetitive or monotonous, and vary the rhythm to control how your readers experience the moment, whether it’s fast-paced action or slow reflection.

Tip 2: Cut the Fluff to Tighten Pacing and Flow

One of the most common pacing issues authors face is unnecessary fluff. Every word, paragraph, scene and chapter needs to service a purpose. Too much description, repetitive information, or dialogue that doesn’t move the plot forward should be trimmed or removed completely.

Ask yourself:

• Does this scene contribute to character development or advance the plot?
• Is this description necessary, or am I adding it just because I like how it sounds?
• Could I convey the same information with fewer words?

Have a look at my series of blog posts about tighter writing for more suggestions on how to implement this.

By cutting unnecessary words, you speed up the pacing and ensure each moment of your story has impact.

Tip 3: Use Scene Breaks and Chapter Endings Strategically

Another effective way to control pacing is through scene breaks and chapter endings. These act as natural pauses for readers, giving them a moment to process what just happened before jumping into the next part of your story.

However, scene breaks can also be used to create suspense. If you end a chapter or scene with a cliffhanger, this will encourage your readers to keep reading.

Use these strategic breaks to control the pacing—sometimes a quick scene break speeds things up, while longer scenes or chapters can slow things down when needed.

Tip 4: Make Sure Dialogue Is Snappy

Dialogue is a great tool for controlling pacing, but it can also be a pacing trap. If your characters are discussing the same thing for pages without moving the plot forward, the pacing will feel sluggish.

When editing dialogue, make sure each line has a purpose:

• Does it reveal something new about the character?
• Does it advance the plot or build tension?
• Could this exchange be shorter without losing its impact?

Snappy dialogue keeps readers engaged, especially during tense or emotional scenes.

Tip 5: Watch Out for Info Dumps

Info dumps—where you unload a huge chunk of backstory or exposition in one go—can seriously disrupt both pacing and flow. These sections can feel like a detour from the main plot, slowing down the action and overwhelming readers with too much information at once.

Instead, try to spread out backstory and exposition, weaving it into the narrative where it feels natural. Let readers discover information as they need it, rather than front-loading everything at the beginning.

This method keeps the pacing tight while giving readers the information they need in a way that feels immediate and relevant.

Tip 6: Keep Transitions Smooth

Finally, let’s talk about scene and chapter transitions. Abrupt changes between scenes can confuse readers and pull them out of the story. Check how each scene transitions into the next. Is it clear how much time has passed? Have you established the new setting or character viewpoint smoothly?

A simple time marker or setting shift can work wonders for keeping the flow smooth. For instance: “Later that afternoon, Richard went into the pub.”

Or: “When they arrived in Birmingham, it was already time for dinner.”

These small details (also called signposts) will help your readers to orientate themselves, making the transitions between scenes or chapters feel seamless.

Final Thoughts: Pacing and Flow Make All the Difference

It can be tricky to get pacing and flow right, but if you
crack it, your manuscript will feel more polished, the reading will be more
effortless and, most importantly, your readers will stay engaged, ensuring your
book doesn’t end up on the DNF [did not finish] pile.

The post Pacing and Flow: Editing Tips to Keep Readers Engaged appeared first on MandaWaller.

Of course hiring a freelance editorial professional is always going to elevate your manuscript to make it more readable and more marketable. But the better your manuscript is before you send it to a fiction editor for some professional attention, the better your final published book will be.

I’m a freelance editorial professional, and my job is to look at manuscripts and check for issues with punctuation, grammar, typos, word choice, pace and inconsistencies. But there are many things that you – the novelist – can do to elevate your manuscript before you look for a book professional to copyedit, line edit and proofread your book.

Below is part two of my list of self-editing tips for indie fiction authors – see here for part 1!

11 – Action Beats

Action beats are the actions that happen while people are speaking. They help to ground the dialogue – making your characters more three-dimensional and real.

When we talk to people, we rarely sit and just talk. We are also looking out of the window, sighing, picking up a biscuit, putting down a coffee cup, scratching a body part.

Action beats not only make the dialogue more natural and interesting, they can also tell us who is speaking.

Rachel scratched her nose. “Is it raining?”

The action beat (Rachel scratched her nose) is on the same line as the dialogue (“Is it raining?”) – in this context, this means that whoever did the action is the one doing the talking.

If there’s any confusion, you could also add the dialogue tag:

Rachel scratched her nose. “Is it raining?” she asked.

Now it’s 100% clear that it’s Rachel who is asking, but you haven’t had to use the name in the dialogue tag (meaning it’s a little less clunky).

Writing dialogue is tricky – and this is just another way to keep it more realistic, and to make it a little more interesting.

12 – Past Tense or Present Tense?

Present Tense

This can be more immediate, bring more intensity and make the reader feel like they are properly immersed in the story. However, it can be tricky to write.

Past Tense

Most novels produced today are written in the past tense. Partly because that’s what we are used to reading (making it easier to write), and partly because it does allow for more authorial control.

But Which is Better?

The short answer is that it doesn’t matter, as long as you remain consistent throughout your novel.

If you’ve written your novel in the past tense, make sure you haven’t accidentally slipped into the present tense.

And if you’ve written your novel in the present tense, make sure you haven’t accidentally slipped into the past (unless it’s a flashback).

13 – Contractions

Contractions are another useful way to make dialogue more realistic.

Examples of contractions:

Shouldn’t (rather than should not)

Haven’t (rather than have not)

Won’t (rather than will not)

Unless your characters are from a different era (when the contractions listed above were less prevalent), or you want your characters to seem a little pompous or formal, then contractions will help you make your dialogue more natural.

This applies to some genres more than others – for example, in YA novels, the main characters are generally teenagers, and most teenagers will speak using contractions, so I’d recommend always considering contractions in your dialogue.

The same applies to any novel set in contemporary times, unless you want your characters to speak more formally. If you listen to dialogue going on around us, it’s very (very) unusual to hear people speaking without contractions. Even King Charles uses them.

Whether you choose to use contractions in your narrative is up to you – but I’d argue that if you want your novel to feel accessible and natural then it’s a good idea to use contractions in your narrative too.

14 – Character Descriptions

How are you handling character descriptions in your novels?

There is a tendency for authors to infodump details of a character’s appearance. This is where the reader is given ALL the details – hair colour, eye colour, height, skin colour, hairstyle, length of legs, waist circumference – in one paragraph.

Although you might want your readers to see how your character looks, this is not a particularly interesting way to present the information.

Instead, my recommendation would be to drip-feed character description, and to weave it into the narrative so the reader can interpret it for themselves.

So rather than telling us that a tall, dark-haired man walked into the room, how about having him duck his head slightly as he walks through the door, and then in a later passage describe how his dark hair is damp from the rain?

This shows us how a character looks (rather than telling us) and provides more character depth.

15 – Overuse of Stage Directions

Sometimes authors write a book in the same way as they would write a screenplay – describing in great detail how a character is moving and the steps necessary to perform a task or get from A to B.

A typical example of over-use of stage direction would be:

He opened the car door and climbed into the driver’s seat, shutting the door behind him. Putting on his seatbelt, he put the key in the ignition, turned the key until the engine sprang to life, then put the car in gear, released the handbrake and pulled away.

Most of this detail isn’t needed. And – let’s face it – it’s incredibly boring. Instead, you could simply say that he got in the car and drove away.

The only time this kind of detail would be necessary is when something happens that’s out of the ordinary. Maybe the driver is interrupted by something extraordinary as he’s starting the car, or maybe the driver is in fact from a different planet and has some kind of physical difference that makes the process of starting the engine difficult.

But most of the time it’s better to leave this detail out. The reader will work it out for themselves.

16 – Tentative Language

Are you using tentative language in your novel?

Examples of tentative language:

Frank goes to switch off the light (rather than Frank switches off the light)

Rachel started to stand up (rather than Rachel stood up)

If Frank was interrupted on his way to switching off the light, or something stops him from performing his task, then the tentative language is needed:

Frank goes to switch off the light, but Rachel stops him.

If Rachel was interrupted as she moved into a standing position, then once again tentative language is needed:

Rachel started to stand up, but the pain shot through her ankle.

But if nothing unusual happens to interrupt these actions, the tentative language is just giving your writing an undertone of uncertainty and a lack of definition.

If you remove the uncertainty and remove the tentative language, it can make your readers subconsciously feel better about your book.

17 – Too Much Description

Lots of authors visualise a scene as they are writing it – and sometimes this can result in too much description that doesn’t add anything to the tone, scene-setting or plot.

It’s honestly not necessary to describe a room in all its glorious detail – unless those details are pertinent.

Do your readers really need to know the precise location of the couch in relation to the window?

Is the colour of the curtains adding anything?

Avoid using unnecessary description.

18 – Chapter Endings

It’s important to keep your readers engaged, and keep them reading.

Chapter endings can play a big part in this – a well-written, well-timed chapter ending will prevent your readers from putting your book down.

Nailing chapter endings comes down to three things: cliffhangers, foreshadowing and timing it right.

Cliffhangers

Ending your chapter with a who-fired-the-gun cliffhanger will keep your readers turning the pages. However, not every chapter needs to end in a cliffhanger. This would be a lot of work to write, and would also be exhausting to read.

Foreshadowing

Ending your chapter with a glimpse of something that’s going to happen in the future can add a touch of intrigue – not as dramatic as a cliffhanger, but still engaging.

Timing it right

Often towards the end of a chapter there will be some action or some drama … followed by a paragraph or two of less exciting closing details where the characters say goodbye to each other, leave the room, put the phone down.

These less exciting details can frequently be removed – readers will know that people leave the room/put the phone down/say goodbye.

It’s better to leave the chapter at the drama point, rather than unnecessarily tie up loose ends.

19 – Make it Look Professional

It’s conventional in novels for the first line in each paragraph to be indented EXCEPT for the first paragraph in a new chapter or section.

The first paragraph in a new chapter or section needs to remain flush left.

Try not to use tabs to indent your manuscript – this will result in inconsistent indents (and it’s a lot of extra keys to press!).

Instead, if you are using MS Word, you can use the built-in styles.

If you don’t know how to use MS Word’s styles, then just use the sliding tab that appears at the top of the page as part of the ruler.

Using indents properly will mean that when someone opens your book for the first time, it will look like it’s been properly formatted.

20 – Remove those Double Spaces!

We used to add two spaces after a full stop/period. This dates back to when we were using typewriters, to make sure there was enough space after a full stop to help the reader spot a new sentence.

We no longer need to add these two spaces after a full stop/period, as computers do a great job of adjusting the spacing for us.

A lot of us still automatically include two spaces – if this is you, then it’s a really easy thing to fix when you’ve finished your manuscript. Just search for two spaces and replace them with one.

In Conclusion

This is part two of my self-editing tips for fiction authors – please see here for part 1. And if any of the above tips are unclear, please do email me – I’d love to hear from you.

The post More Self-Editing Tips for Fiction Authors appeared first on MandaWaller.

The better your manuscript is before you send it to a fiction editor for some professional attention, the better your final, published book will be.

Authors and editors can work together to ensure better readability – this in turn will make your book more marketable and will result in better reviews.

I’m a freelance editorial professional, and my job is to look at manuscripts and check for issues with punctuation, grammar, typos, word choice, pace and inconsistencies. But there are many things that you – the novelist – can do to elevate your manuscript before you look for a book professional to copyedit, line edit and proofread your book.

Below is part one of my list of self-editing tips for indie fiction authors – see here for part 2!

1 – Let It Rest

When you’ve finished writing your first draft, and you’ve just typed “THE END”, should you start self-editing immediately?

You may be relieved to have reached the end of your manuscript, and you may need a break (everyone is entitled to a holiday, even full-time writers!).

However, you might be tempted to jump straight back to the start and begin the first round of self-editing.

Either way, it’s best not to start editing immediately. Put your manuscript in a digital drawer and leave it to percolate, ferment, breathe.

How long you do this for is up to you, but I’d recommend a minimum of two weeks.

During this time, you don’t have to stop writing, but you should try really hard not to tinker with your manuscript.

When you come back to your manuscript, you will find that you have a different perspective, and you are far more likely to pick up on far more things than if you’d barrelled straight into the editing process immediately.

Giving yourself a break is good for you, and good for your manuscript!

2 – Dialogue Tags

Is it possible to nod words? Or smile them? Or shrug them?

I’d argue that none of these work as dialogue tags (with certain exceptions – some fantasy sub-genres being one of them).

It might just about be possible to cough, sigh, hiccup or laugh a word. But definitely not a sentence.

And you really can’t sneeze words. Except maybe “aachoo”.

The safest dialogue tags are said, asked, replied. Whispered, shouted, mumbled, yelled are also perfectly fine.

I’ll leave you with these fine examples (which I’d recommend you avoid!): posited, opined, husked, ejaculated.

Note:
– If your dialogue ends with a comma before the closing quotes, what comes after the closing quotes is a dialogue tag.
– if your dialogue ends with a full stop or period before the closing quotes, what comes after the closing quotes is an action beat.

3 – That

There are a lot of people who don’t like the word “that” when it’s used as a conjunction. I’ve heard stories of authors being told to remove them all from their manuscripts.

Sometimes, the word “that” is necessary for clarity, pace or tone. But sometimes it’s just not needed.

Have a look at this:
I knew that he was going to be late -vs- I knew he was going to be late.
It was obvious that she was younger than him -vs- It was obvious she was younger than him.

In both these examples, the word “that” can be removed without affecting the meaning or clarity. You could possibly argue that the tone is slightly different, and of course that’s the author’s call.

However, if a word can be removed without impacting on clarity or meaning, it’s an indication that its use should be reviewed.

Removing the “that”s in the sentences above removes clutter, and this is always something to be promoted.

There ARE some sentences where the word “that” is needed as a conjunction:

I’ve heard that you snore -vs- I’ve heard you snore

The second example (I’ve heard you snore) could mean two different things (I’ve heard THAT you snore, or I’ve heard you snoring), so in this case, the word that is needed for clarity.

4 – Strong Verbs

You’ve probably heard how editors don’t like adverbs.

This is because the presence of adverbs often indicates the presence of weaker verbs.

(An adverb is just a word that modifies a verb – so in the sentence “I ran quickly”, the word “quickly” is an adverb, modifying the verb “to run”.)

Have a look at the verbs you are using in your manuscript.

Do you find yourself leaning on adverbs to support weaker verbs?

Are your characters running quickly (when they could be sprinting), walking cautiously (when they could be tiptoeing), speaking quietly (when they could be whispering), speaking quickly (when they could be blurting)?

Often, adverbs are an indicator that your narrative (or dialogue) could be strengthened by reviewing your verbs.

5 – Lengthy Monologues

Have a look at your dialogue.

Do you have large paragraphs where one person is constantly speaking?

This doesn’t tend to happen in real life.

Even when someone is giving a speech, they are still looking around the room, looking down at their notes, taking a sip of water, pointing at something on the screen.

In everyday conversation, when someone is talking it’s very rare for them to go on for too long without being interrupted, or without the other people in the room saying or doing something.

Not only is it unrealistic to have lengthy uninterrupted monologues in your novel, it also results in a lack of white space on the pace. Solid blocks of text make your manuscript harder to read, and too many of them are likely to put your readers off (even if only subconsciously).

So this tip is to review your lengthy monologues and see if they can be broken up with action beats, or other characters joining in.

6 – Removing Redundancy

Can you shrug any part of your body except your shoulders?
(he shrugged his shoulders becomes simply he shrugged)

Can you kick any part of your body except your feet?
(she kicked the ball with her foot becomes simply she kicked the ball)

Can you clasp with anything other than your hands?
(he clasped the paper in his hand becomes simply he clasped the paper)

It’s important to remove unnecessary clutter, and to make every word count.

7 – Removing Repetition

Repetition is not just about words that have been duplicated (although obviously these need removing!) – it can happen in multiple, unexpected ways.

A really common (and often overlooked) one is where the narrative repeats what the dialogue has just told us:

“Hello.” Rebecca greeted me.
“I would like to explain.” David felt the need to clarify.

In both these examples, the narrative is unnecessarily repeating what we have just been told in the dialogue.

Another type of repetition relates to adverbs:

He yelled loudly. (The adverb “loudly” is repeating what we’ve been told by the verb “yell”.)
He briefly summarised. (The word “summarise” means to make something briefer, so the adverb “briefly” is repeating what we have been told by the verb “summarise”.)

Removing repetition removes clutter and brings more definition to your writing.

8 – Unnecessary Timeline Nudges

Do you need to include timeline nudges in your novel?
(Timeline nudges are words like then, after, while, before, with that.)

Often, authors think that readers need these nudges, so they can keep track of what’s going on. However, the sequence in which you write events indicates the sequence in which they happen.

You don’t need to say “X happened then Y happened”.
Instead, you can say “X happened, and Y happened” and the reader will understand that Y happened after X.

Using timeline nudges too frequently can be distracting – and your readers can end up focusing more on when things happen, and less on what you are trying to describe on the page.

Removing these nudges removes clutter and brings more definition to your writing.

9 – As You Know, Bob

So what on earth is As You Know, Bob? Also called Maid and Butler Dialogue, it’s when the characters on the page share information that everyone present already knows – purely so the reader can know it too.

Have a look at this:

“I heard your wife, Rebecca, is learning the piano?”

The person being addressed clearly already knows that their wife is called Rebecca – the only reason the writer has presented it this way is so that the readers can know all about Rebecca too.

Instead, it would be better to write it as:

“I heard Rebecca is learning the piano?”
“Yes, my wife is a very talented woman.”

This then tells us all the information, in a more natural way.

With longer, more complicated pieces of information, it might be a good idea to introduce a new character who doesn’t have all the facts, so the other characters can discuss the details with them, and thereby keep the reader fully informed.

10 – Vocatives

Are you overusing vocatives in your novel?

A vocative is a word that’s used to address someone – normally a name.

In real life, we don’t tend to use people’s names very often in conversation. Maybe at the start, when we first meet them, we might say “Hello, Name”, but then during the natural course of the conversation, we would be unlikely to repeat their name many times.

If there are only two people present, we might not use their name at all.

And if there are multiple people present, we might use a name to make sure everyone knows who we are talking to, but we might also look at someone, nudge them or tap them on the shoulder.

Often, authors use names in dialogue far more than is natural. Have a look at your dialogue – have you used names too frequently?

If you are worried that the reader isn’t going to follow who is speaking/being addressed, this is what dialogue tags and action beats are for.

Dialogue is really hard to write, and this is just one way to make it sound more natural.

In Conclusion

This is part one of my self-editing tips for indie fiction authors – please see here for part 2. And if any of the above tips are unclear, please do email me – I’d love to hear from you.

The post Self-Editing Tips for Fiction Authors appeared first on MandaWaller.

Newer authors often fall into the trap of over-describing, but how do you avoid over-describing (and generally overwriting) in novels?

You might have heard the phrase ‘make every word count’. And you might have heard that ‘tight writing is good writing‘. But what do these phrases actually mean? What constitutes ‘tight writing’? And what words might not be necessary? What exactly is over-describing?

There are four main areas where novelists fall into the trap of OVERWRITING, particularly when new to the craft:
– Over-direction
– Excessive timeline nudges
– Over-description
– Repetition and Redundancy (telling twice)

Many authors imagine scenes in their heads in a visual way. They see the characters as they move and interact. As a result, when they cast these imaginings into words they frequently over-describe the detail of what they are seeing. They underestimate the reader’s ability to work things out for themselves. In this third part of a four-part blog series, I offer a quick guide to understanding (and dealing with) the third of these issues – OVER-DESCRIPTION.

If a passage in your manuscript doesn’t serve to move the story forward, should it be there at all? A degree of description is necessary to orientate your characters in their surroundings, so the reader can see what the character is seeing, so they can be inside a character’s head – sharing their experiences.

However, does the reader need to know every single observable detail? To some extent, it depends on the genre. If you are writing an Agatha-Christie-style investigative murder novel, then it may be important to know that the large bookcase is to the right of the small bookcase. Maybe the murderer rearranges the room after the crime, and a detail is overlooked or a bookcase not returned to its original position. However, it’s more likely that this fact is completely irrelevant. It’s probably not even necessary to mention how many bookcases there are, let alone their physical relation to each other.

When writing scenes to build tension, it’s particularly important to not get bogged down in details. This will slow the pace, reduce the build-up of tension, and may even annoy the reader who is desperate to understand what happens next.

When a character enters a room, it may be necessary to describe it so that the reader can imagine how the room looks. If you are writing a story where it’s necessary for the reader to imagine the room, then go for it (within limits). However, ask yourself whether removing the passage completely has any impact at all on the story.

If you decide that a degree of description is necessary (and genuinely, sometimes it is most definitely necessary), then consider what you are describing. Be selective about what you choose to describe. And only describe things that aren’t obvious.

Give me an example of over-describing?

See below:

He opened the door and stepped into the room. To his right, a light switch was beside the door. He flicked it and a large chandelier on the ceiling stuttered into life.

Firstly, it’s customary for a light switch to be next to the door, so this information isn’t necessary. The fact that it’s to the right of the door may be important, but it’s unlikely. And aren’t all chandeliers generally on the ceiling?

So this passage could be reduced to:

He opened the door and stepped into the room. He flicked the light switch and a large chandelier stuttered into life.

Removing the position of the light switch and the position of the chandelier has not taken anything away from the passage (except for reducing the word count!).

Why does Over-Describing happen?

Overwriting (including over-describing, excessive timeline nudges and over-directing) often happens when the author is not trusting the reader to work things out for themselves. The aim is to provide the reader with just enough information, but not too much. When overwriting happens, the reader will switch off, skim-read or (even worse!) fall asleep. Every single word on the page needs to count.

How to fix it?

Look out for descriptive passages in your manuscript and ask yourself the following questions:

1. Is it necessary to describe this detail? Does it further the plot?
2. Have I included this description in order to develop one of my characters? If so, can I do it in another way? Can I weave it into the narrative in a less obtrusive way?
3. Have I described something that is already obvious?
4. If I remove it, what difference will it make?

In conclusion

Trust your reader. Reduce unnecessary description. And make every word count.

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